Questo articolo è tratto dal Blog di Martyna ( https://martynaszczesniak.
Alla fine del suo percorso SVE, Martyna narra i suoi pensieri, le sue sensazioni e la sua "valutazione finale" dell'esperienza umana così forte e profonda.
Martyna è cittadina Polacca ma risiede in Sardegna: questo per ricordare che lo SVE dà uguali diritti ai cittadini di ogni paese- così non c'è differenza tra essere nati in Italia o altrove.....
I crossed out the words ‘mental
disability’ and ‘incapacity’ from my dictionary. There is nothing about
‘dis-‘, ‘in-‘ or ‘un-‘ among the people I met. It’s like having blue
eyes or brown eyes. Both are beautiful. No mater of which colour are
yours, you can be equally cute and annoying at times.
And my, blue eyes, are full of tears only
thinking that in 4 days I have to leave and, just like that, stop
seeing them everyday.
And there is no altrusim here, no
sacrifice. In fact it is sheer egoism because I need them much more than
they need me. I am lost without them and I really doubt if
I would manage to feel whole again. Because, if I ever felt something at least close to wholeness in my life, it was now.
I would manage to feel whole again. Because, if I ever felt something at least close to wholeness in my life, it was now.
It was supposed to be something new, an
opportunity to finally improve the language, travel around Spain and do
something useful. And I did it all, but I would have never thought I
would change. And, inside, I did. Even though my rationalism doesn’t
allow me to believe in enlightenments or Big Bangs.
But how is it possible not to get hit by a
meteorite when you are being kissed, hugged, told that you are being
loved and necessary every single day? How can you not get addicted to
the most beautiful, sincere and smiles in the world? It’s like
discovering that there is another kind of love, incomparable to anything
you had known before. I stopped counting the moments when I wanted to
cry out of pure gratefulness that I had an opportunity to be a part of
something so deep and so eyes-opening on everyday terms. Because it was
an enormous privilege. To look closely at what we all know under and
euphemistic adjectives like ‘special’ and ‘extraordinary’. And find out
that there are so many different shades, layers and incarnations of
beauty that your mind couldn’t embrace all of them even if it wanted to.
And what I also discovered is that I feel
inferior. It’s a beautiful feeling full of admiration and certainty
that there are plenty of things we should learn. Because we forgot too
much when we grew up. We forgot to talk and smile to dogs. We forgot how
to enjoy the sound of leaves under our feet and listen to the river.
How to hug without sexual connotations. How to show affection. How to
sing and dance together when we are bored. How to help one another and
be able to ask for help. Even how to hate each other sometimes
sincerely. How to laugh. I’ve never laughed so much in my life. And how
to redefine our sense of physical beauty and see the real one. Because
it is there and hides in the faces of the people you would never expect
to.
I am probably the first one to
overanalyse and complicate everything. But there is much more simplicity
in the world than we think. This is an enormous discovery for a person
like me who has a special power to cry over every relationship-related
failure, feeling useless about 20 times a day and rethink the sense of
her own existence.
I guess I found my definition of beauty. Maybe that’s not a Big Bang but still it’s something.
Nessun commento:
Posta un commento